Urgent vacancy for the post of Girl Friend

Happy Valentines Day

Applications are invited for the following post. The package and incentives are mentioned below.

Designation : Junior girl friend (trainee)
Experience : Must have ditched at least 2 guys (Fresher with excellent credentials will be considered)
Other requirement : Should have the Potential to do street bargaining and fight if required.

Age : 18-26 (if the individual is too good looking but not in the age group can also apply, special consideration will undertaken for them)
Height, weight, complexions no bar, but is subjective.

Perks and incentives:
Total gross ( Monthly ) :
· 2 gifts worth not exceeding Rs. 1000/-(no precious metals, stones)
· bike rides each duration 1 hour
· trips to National Highways
· 5 Trips to Hanuman Mandir / Isckon Temple
· Kulfis / Chocobars at a regular gap of 3 days
· Daily Provision of Samosa/Bread Pakoda/Bhel worth Rs. 10 /-
· 2 movies (Family movies only) per month (on weekends)
· Visits to Shopping Malls and BARISTA every Weekend (On your own expense)

A Pair of Jeans or T-shirts according to demand will be gifted, subject to finance availability and to the size available with the shopkeeper.

Net Deductions (Monthly): Affair Fund and un-professional taxes will be informed on joining
The probation period is 6 months, after which confirmation (with Promotion to fulltime Girlfriend)

Plz NOTE:
1. Only females.
2. Girls who left in the last 2 months need not apply.
3. Ex-girlfriends will be eligible only if they agree to the above mentioned conditions.

There is more:
For girls who are not eligible, can take advantage of the referral. Program by referring their friend, colleagues etc.

Candle light or Tube light dinner will be given on every referral, even if candidate is not selected.

Search,,,,,, , never ends!!
Interested candidates can send their resume with

Subject:
Name/fresher- exp/age.
Photo must be in attachment. to the email address via mail
Note: Applications without photo will be rejected.

Hasna jindagi hai

Hasna jindagi hai,
has kar gum boolana jindagi hai,
jeet kar hanse to kya hanse,
haar kar khushiyan manaana jindagi hai



............ ......... ......... ......... .



Aaj khushiyo ki koi badhai dega,
Nikla hai chand to dikai dega,

ae dost dosti ki hai hmne aapse,
Aapka ek aansu bhi ghira to sunai dega..



............ ......... ......... ......... .



Aansuon Me na dhoondna hamein,
Dil me hum bas jaayenge!
Tamanna ho agar milne ki,
to band aankhon me nazar aayenge!!



............ ......... ......... ......... .



Pilana farz tha kuch bhi pila diya hota
Sharab kam thi to pani mila diya hota

Agar zuban pe sharm-o-haya ka pehra tha To
muskura ke sar hi hila diya hota.

How to kill your mother in law

A long time ago in China , a girl named Li-Li got married & went to live with her husband and mother-in-law. In a very short time, Li-Li found that she couldn't get along with her mother-in-law at all.

Their personalities were very different, and Li-Li was angered by many of her mother-in-law's habits. In addition, she criticized Li-Li constantly.

Days passed, and weeks passed. Li-Li and her mother-in-law never stopped arguing and fighting.

But what made the situation even worse was that, according to ancient Chinese tradition, Li-Li had to bow to her mother-in-law and obey her every wish. All the anger and unhappiness in the house was causing Li-Li's poor husband! d great distress.

Finally, Li-Li could not stand her mother-in-! law's bad temper and dictatorship any longer, and she decided to do something about it! Li-Li went to see her father's good friend, Mr. Huang, who sold herbs.

She told him the situation and asked if he would give her some poison so that she could solve the problem once and for all.

Mr. Huang thought for awhile, and finally said, "Li-Li, I will help you solve your problem, but you must listen to me and obey what I tell you."

Li-Li said, "Yes, Mr. Huang, I will do whatever you tell me to do."Mr. Huang went into the back room, and returned in a few minutes with a package of herbs. He told Li-Li, "You can't use a quick-acting poison to get rid of your mother-in-law, because that would cause people to become suspicious Therefore, I have given you a number of herbs that will slowly build up poison in her body. Every other day prepare some delicious meal and put a little of these herbs in her serving.

Now, in order to make sure that nobody suspect you, when she dies, you must be very careful to act very friendly towards her. "Don't argue with her, obey her every wish, and treat her like a queen." Li-Li was so happy.

She thanked Mr. Huang and hurried home to start her plot of murdering her mother-in-law.

Weeks went by, and months went by, and every other day, Li-Li served the specially treated food to her mother-in-law. She remembered what Mr. Huang had said about avoiding suspicion, so she controlled her temper!r, obeyed her mother-in-law, and treated her like her own mother.

After six months had passed, the whole household had changed. Li-Li had practiced controlling her temper so much that she found that she almost never got mad or upset. She hadn't had an argument with her mother-in-law in six months because she now seemed much kinder and easier to get along with.

The mother-in-law's attitude toward Li-Li changed, and she began to love Li-Li like her own daughter. She kept telling friends and relatives that Li-Li was the best daughter-in- law one could ever find. Li-Li and her mother-in-law were now treating each other like a real mother and daughter.

Li-Li's husband was very happy to see what was happening. One day, Li-Li came to see Mr. Huang and asked for his help again She said, "Dear Mr. Huang, please help me to keep the poison from killing my mother-in-law. She's changed into such a nice woman, and I love her like my own mother. I do not want her to die because of the poison I gave her."

Mr. Huang smiled and nodded his head. "Li-Li, there's nothing to worry about. I never gave you any poison. The herbs I gave you were vitamins to improve her health. The only poison was in your mind and your attitude toward her, but that has been all washed away by the love which you gave to her."

HAVE YOU REALIZED that how you treat others is exactly how they will treat you? There is a wise Chinese saying: "The person who loves others will also be loved in return." God might be trying to work in another person's life through you. Send this to your friends and spread the POWER OF LOVE.

Chilly Question & Ans.

Girlfriend: And are you sure you love me and no one else?

Boyfriend: Dead Sure! I checked the whole list again yesterday

*********

Waiter: Would you like your coffee black?


Customer: What other colors do you have?

*********

Manager: Sorry, but i can't give u a job. I don't need much help.

Job Applicant: That's all right. In fact I'm just the right person in this case. You see, I won't be of much help anyway!!

*********

Dad: Son, what do u want for ur birthday?

Son: Not much dad, Just a radio with a sports car around it.

*********

Diner: I can't eat such a rotten chicken. Call the manager!

Waiter: It's no use. He won't eat it either.

*********

Diner: You'll drive me to my grave!

Waiter: Well, you don't expect to walk there, do you?

*********

Husband: U know, wife, our son got his brain from me.

Wife: I think he did, I've still got mine with me!

*********

Man: Officer! There's a bomb in my garden!

Officer: Don't worry. If no one claims it within three days, you can keep it.

*********

Father: Your teacher says she finds it impossible to teach you anything!

Son: That's why I say she's no good!

Devil's most 'used' instrument

It was advertised that the devil was going to put his tools up for sale. On the date of the sale, the tools were placed for public inspection; each tool being marked with its sale price.

They were a treacherous lot of implements.. . Hatred, Envy, Jealousy, Deceit, Lying, Pride, and so on.

Laid apart from the rest was a harmless looking tool, that appeared to have been heavily used, and was priced very high.

"What is the name of this tool?" asked one of the purchasers, pointing to it. "That is Discouragement," replied the devil.

"Why have you priced it so high?"

"Because it is more useful to me than all the others. I can pry open and get inside people's hearts with that when I cannot get near them with my other tools. Once I get inside, I can make them do what I choose. It is badly worn because I use it on almost everyone, since very few people know that it belongs to me."

Never get discouraged! Keep your head up keep the faith!

Propose ka naya style

I have a heart n that is true,
But now it has
Gone from me to u,
So care for it just like i do,
B'COZ i have no
Heart n u have two.



............ ......... ......... ......... .........



What iS gr8 love ?
Its wen u hide tears n still care 4 her .
Its wen she ignores u n u still LOVE her .
Its wen she begins love another n u still SMILE

............ ......... ......... ......... .........





Love : Its not the "presence" of something which brings "meaning" to life,

But its the way that "someone" touches ur heart which gives life a beautiful meaning..

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Can you see me? No? Turn around, can you see me now? No?

Turn again, can you see me now?

I can see you because you have a special place in my heart!

Newton's laws of LOVE

First law:

A boy in love with a girl continues to be in love with her and a girl in love with a boy continues to be in love with him, until and unless any external agent(brother or father of the girl) comes into play and breaks the legs of the boy.


Second law:

The rate of change of intensity of love of a girl towards a boy is directly proportional to his bank balance.


Third law:

The force applied while proposing a girl by a boy is equal and opposite to the force applied by the girl while using her sandals.


Universal law:

Love can neither be created nor be destroyed, it can only be transfered from one girlfriend to another girlfriend.

A Boy's Love

On the last day before Christmas, I hurried to go to the store to buy the remaining gifts I didn't manage to buy earlier.

When I saw all the people there, I started to complain to myself. It is going to take forever here and I still have so many other places to go... Christmas really is getting more and more annoying every year. How I wish I could just lie down, go to sleep and only wake up after it...

Nonetheless, I made my way to the toy section, and there I started to curse the prices, wondering if all kids really play with such expensive toys.

While looking in the toy section, I noticed a small boy of about 5 years old, pressing a doll against his chest. He kept on touching the hair of the doll and looked so sad. I wondered who was this doll for. Then the little boy turned to the old woman next to him and said: Granny, are you sure I don't have enough money?

The old lady replied: You know that you don't have enough money to buy this doll, my dear. Then she asked him to stay here for 5 minutes while she went to look around. She left quickly.

The little boy was still holding the doll in his hand. Finally, I started to walk toward him and I asked him who did he want to give this doll to. It is the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so much for this Christmas. She was so sure that Santa Claus would bring it to her.

I replied to him that maybe Santa Claus will bring it to her, after all, and not to worry. But he replied to me sadly. No, Santa Claus cannot bring it to her where she is now. I have to give the doll to my mother so that she can give it to her when she goes there.

His eyes were so sad while saying this.

My sister has gone to be with God. Daddy said that Mommy will also go to see God very soon, so I thought that she could bring the doll with her to give it to my sister.

My heart nearly stopped.

The little boy looked up at me and said: I told daddy to tell mommy not to go yet. I asked him to wait until I come back from the store.

Then he showed me a very nice photo of him where he was laughing. He then told me: I also want mommy to take this photo with her so that she will not forget me.

I love my mommy and I wish she didn't have to leave me but daddy says that she has to go to be with my little sister.

Then he looked again at the doll with sad eyes, very quietly.

I quickly reached for my wallet and took a few dollars out and said to the boy. What if we checked again, just in case, to see if you have enough money?

OK he said. I hope that I have enough.

I added some of my money to his without him seeing and we started to count it. There was enough for the doll, and even some spare money.

The little boy said: Thank you God for giving me enough money.

Then he looked at me and added: I asked yesterday before I slept for God to make sure I have enough money to buy this doll so that mommy can give it to my sister. He heard me.

I also wanted to have enough money to buy a white rose for my mommy, but I didn't dare to ask God for too much. but He gave me enough to buy the doll and the white rose. You know, my mommy loves white roses.

A few minutes later, the old lady came again and I left.

I finished my shopping in a totally different state from when I started. I couldn't get the little boy out of my mind.

Then I remembered a local newspaper article 2 days ago, which mentioned of a drunk man in a truck who hit a car where there was one young lady and a little girl.

The little girl died right away, and the mother was left in a critical state. The family had to decide whether to pull the plug on the life-assisting machine, because the young lady would not be able to get out of the coma.

Was this the family of the little boy?

Two days after this encounter with the little boy, I read in the newspaper that the young lady had passed away.

I couldn't stop myself and went to buy a bunch of white roses and I went to the mortuary where the body of the young woman was exposed for people to see before burial.

She was there, in her coffin, holding a beautiful white rose in her hand with the photo of the little boy and the doll placed over her chest.

I left the place crying, feeling that my life had been changed forever.

The love that this little boy had for his mother and his sister is still, to this day, hard to imagine.

And in a fraction of a second, a drunk man had taken all this away from him.

B4 marriage

A love couple sitting in the park, boy tries 2 kiss the girl…..

Girl: No dear not all this b4 marriage.

Boy: Don't worry darling I m already married.

............ ......... ......... ......... ......... ....





WIFE: DARLING TODAY IS ANNIVERSARY OF OUR MARRIAGE, WHAT SHOULD WE DO

HUSBAND : DEAR LET US STAND IN TWO MINUTES SILENCE

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Height of Kanjoosi: Bania's house in fire,

He is gvng miss calls 2 Fire brigade

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What makes a book bestseller?

A girl on the cover and no cover on the girl .. :)

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parents

An 80 year old man was sitting on the sofa in his house along with his 45 years old highly educated son. Suddenly a crow perched on their window.

The Father asked his Son, "What is this?"

The Son replied "It is a crow".

After a few minutes, the Father asked his Son the 2nd time, "What is this?"

The Son said "Father, I have just now told you "It's a crow".

After a little while, the old Father again asked his Son the 3rd time,

What is this?"

At this time some expression of irritation was felt in the Son's tone when he said to his Father with a rebuff. "It's a crow, a crow".

A little after, the Father again asked his Son t he 4th time, "What is this?"

This time the Son shouted at his Father, "Why do you keep asking me the same question again and again, although I have told you so many times 'IT IS A CROW'. Are you not able to understand this?"

A little later the Father went to his room and came back with an old tattered diary, which he had maintained since his Son was born. On opening a page, he asked his Son to read that page. When the son read it, the following words were written in the diary :-

"Today my little son aged three was sitting with me on the sofa, when a crow was sitting on the window. My Son asked me 23 times what it was, and I replied to him all 23 times that it was a Crow. I hugged him lovingly each time h e asked me the same question again and again for 23 times. I did not at all feel irritated I rather felt affection for my innocent child".

While the little child asked him 23 times "What is this", the Father had felt no irritation in replying to the same question all 23 times and when today the Father asked his Son the same question just 4 times, the Son felt irritated and annoyed.

So..

If your parents attain old age, do not repulse them or look at them as a burden, but speak to them a gracious word, be cool, obedient, humble and kind to them. Be considerate to your parents.From today say this aloud, "I want to see my parents happy forever. They have cared for me ever since I was a little child. They have always showered their selfless love on me.

They crossed all mountains and valleys without seeing the storm and heat to make me a person presentable in the society today".

Say a prayer to God, "I will serve my old parents in the BEST way. I will say all good and kind words to my dear parents, no matter how they behave.

Inspiring

My mother used to ask me: "What is the most important part of the body?"

Through the years I would take a guess at what I thought was the correct answer. When I was younger, I thought sound was very important to us as humans, so I said, "My ears, Mommy."

Mother said, "No Many people are deaf. But you keep thinking about it and I will ask you again soon."

Several years passed before she asked me again. Since making my first attempt, I had contemplated the correct answer. So this time I told her, "Mommy, sight is very important to everybody, so it must be our eyes." Mother looked at me and told me, "You are learning fast, but the answer is not correct because there are many people who are blind."

Stumped again, I continued my quest for knowledge. Over the years, Mother asked me a couple more times and always her answer was, "No, but you are getting smarter every year, my child."

Then last year, my grandpa died. Everybody was hurt. Everybody was crying. Even my father cried. I remember that especially because it was only the second time I saw him cry. My Mom looked at me when it was our turn to say our final good-bye to Grandpa.

Mother asked me, "Do you know the most important body part yet, my dear?"

I was shocked when she asked me this now. I always thought this was a game between her and me. Mother saw the confusion on my face and told me, "This question is very important. It shows that you have really lived in your life. For every body part you gave me in the past, I have told you was wrong and I have given you an example why. But today is the day you need to learn this important lesson."

Mother looked down at me as only a mother can. I saw her eyes well up with tears. Mother said, "My dear, the most important body part is your shoulder."

I asked, "Is it because it holds up my head?"

Mother replied, "No, it is because it can hold the head of a friend or a loved one when they cry. Everybody needs a shoulder to cry on sometime in life, my dear. I only hope that you have enough love and friends that you will always have a shoulder to cry on when you need it."

Then and there I knew the most important body part is not a selfish one. It is sympathetic to the pain of others. People will forget what you said... People will forget what you did.... But people will NEVER forget how you made them feel.

True or not, the story makes you stop and think. Be blessed. Be a blessing. Get your shoulder ready.


&&&&&&&&

Please tell me "WHY"

WHY (can anyone give the answers)

1. Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting dead?

2. Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough money?

3. Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

4. Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?

5. Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?

6. Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

7. Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?

8. Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

9. Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lips"?

10. If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

11. Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?

12. Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?

13. Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?

14. Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?

15 Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?

16. How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?

17. When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It's all right?" Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, "That hurt, you stupid idiot?"

18. Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?

19. In Winter, why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in Summer, when we complained about the heat in Summer?

20. How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?

Chinese

One out of four people is a chinese.

If your father, your mother and your brother are not Chinese, it must be you.

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Press Down if u think u r MAD.
I can't Believe u Did That!
Again?

For God Sake! LORD!!
Why u Still Doing it?
Truth is out now!

MENTAL CASE!!

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"CONGRATS" U have been awarded an M.B.A degree

For not Smsing me.

MBA means 'Member of Bhikari Association'

Kindly forward it 2 all M.B.A's.

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Andhe ke hath me "TORCH",
Bahare ke hath me "RADIO",

Gunge ke hath me "MIKE",
AUR AAP KE HATH ME "MOBILE"

WAH WAH Kya Jamana Aaya hai!!!

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Send it to your boss

People who do lots of work...
make lots of mistakes


People who do less work...
make less mistakes


People who do no work...
make no mistakes


People who make no mistakes...
gets promoted


That's why I spend most of my time
Sending e-mails & playing games at work , I need a promotion.

The bowl

A man and his dog were walking along a road. The man was enjoying the scenery, when it suddenly occurred to him that he was dead.

He remembered dying, and that the dog walking beside him had been dead for years. He wondered where the road was leading them.

After a while, they came to a high, white stone wall along one side of the road. It looked like fine marble.

At the top of a long hill, it was broken by a tall arch that glowed in the sunlight.When he was standing before it he saw a magnificent gate in the arch that looked like mother-of-pearl, and the street that led to the gate looked like pure gold. He and the dog walked toward the gate, and as he got closer, he saw a man at a desk to one side.

When he was close enough, he called out, "Excuse me, where are we?"?
"This is Heaven, sir," the man answered.

"Wow! Would you happen to have some water?" the man asked.
"Of course, sir. Come right in, and I'll have some ice water brought right up."

The man gestured, and the gate began to open. "Can my friend," gesturing toward his dog, "come in, too?" the traveler asked.? I'm sorry, sir, but we don't accept pets."

The man thought a moment and then turned back toward the road and continued the way he had been going with his dog.

After another long walk, and at the top of another long hill, he came to a dirt road leading through a farm gate that looked as if it had never been closed. There was no fence.

As he approached the gate, he saw a man inside, leaning against a tree and reading a book. "Excuse me!" he called to the man. "Do you have any water?"? "Yeah, sure, there's a pump over there, come on in."

"How about my friend here?" the traveler gestured to the dog.? "There should be a bowl by the pump." They went through the gate, and sure enough, there was an old-fashioned hand pump with a bowl beside it.

The traveler filled the water bowl and took a long drink himself, then he gave some to the dog.

When they were full, he and the dog walked back toward the man who was standing by the tree.?

"What do you call this place?" the traveler asked.

"This is Heaven," he answered.

"Well, that's confusing," the traveler said. "The man down the road said that was Heaven, too."

"Oh, you mean the place with the gold street and pearly gates? Nope. That's hell."

"Doesn't it make you mad for them to use your name like that?"

"No, we're just happy that they screen out the folks who would leave their best friends behind."

Har seene mein dil

Har seene mein dil hota hai,
Har dil mein ek raaz ki baat hoti hai,

Har koi nahi bana sakta TAJ MAHAL,
Par har dil mein ek MUMTAZ hoti hai.

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Nighahein aapki, pehchaan hai hamari,
Muskurahath aapki, shaan hai humari,

Rakhna hifazath tum apni ,
Kyonki saanse aapki, jaan hai humari

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Pal pal ne kaha 1 pal se...
Pal bhar ke liye tum mere sath raho......
Pal bhar ka sath kuch aisa ho ki har pal tum hi tum yaad Raho.

............ ......... ......... ......... ...





Achi surat ko sanvarne ki zarurat kya hai
Sadgi bhi to qayamat ki ada hoti hain



............ ......... ......... ......... ...

Poems written by husband to wife

wrote your name on sand it got washed.
I wrote your name in air, it was blown away. then
I wrote your name on my heart & i got Heart Attack.

******
God saw me hungry, he created pizza .
He saw me thirsty, he created Pepsi .
He saw me in dark, he created light .
He saw me without problems, he created YOU.

******
Twinkle Twinkle little star
You should know what you are
And once you know what you are
Mental hospital is not so far.

******
The rain makes all things beautiful.
The grass and flowers too.
If rain makes all things beautiful
why doesn't it rain on you?

******
Roses are red, Violets are blue
monkeys like u should be kept in zoo.
Don't feel so angry you will find me there too
not in cage but laughing at

You Are Wonderful

The following story captured our heart. It happened several years ago in the Paris opera house. A famous singer had been contracted to sing, and ticket sales werebooming. In fact, the night of the concert found the house packed and every ticket sold.

The feeling of anticipation and excitement was in the air as the house manager took the stage and said, Ladies and gentlemen, thank you for your enthusiastic support. I am afraid that due to illness, the man whom you've all come to hear will not be performing tonight. However, we have found a suitable substitute we hope will provide you with comparable entertainment.

The crowd groaned in disappointmentand failed to hear the announcer mention the stand-in's name. The environment turned from excitement to frustration.

The stand-in performer gave the performance everything he had. When he had finished,there was nothing but an uncomfortable silence. No one applauded. Suddenly, from the balcony, a little boy stood up and shouted, Daddy, I think you are wonderful! The crowd broke into thunderous applause.

We all need people in our Lives who are willing to stand up once in a while and say, I think you are wonderful.

And at times others are expecting this from you.

Are you telling them how wonderful you are . . .??????????

Say it now and make someone's day more

Jindgi

jindgi khuli kitab hai................hath phailaye kari hai.......jeeva hai to khul ke jio................................varna kisko yaha kisiki padi hai......................

Good morning to world

Hey friends, good morning to all of you. How s you guys. This is an another blog by me for all of you. But in this blog the very special thing is that this blog was created by my dear brother Mr. Sanjeev Kumar Gaur I find out this blog and decided to continue his wish to make this blog. So here i invites all of you to this blog. Here you will post your daily life-views whatever you want to tell this world.This is short social stories blog where you will put your own views. I hope you will help me out to make this blog beautiful.


Bye

Take care

Shona