Never marry a Testing girl since she always doubts U .
Never marry a DATABASE girl since she always wants her husband to be a UNIQUE key.
Never marry a C girl because she always have a tendency to BREAK the things and EXIT from house.
Never marry a C++ girl as u may encounter some problems in INHERITANCE.
Never marry a JAVA girl since she always throws EXCEPTIONS.
Never marry a VB girl since she has divorce FORM with her always.
Never marry a UNIX girl ,she always dump u with a core.
Never marry a PASCAL girl ,she always scolds u as rascal.
Never marry a COBOL girl since she may be very good in DIVISION of families.
Never marry a NETWORK girl since she may be very good in shooting troubles.
Better marry a girl not belonging to SOFTWARE FAMILY
MARRY A GIRL FROM A "HARD"WARE FAMILY, THEN........ ..
********
Thursday, September 11, 2008
The Wings of Burden
An old legend relates that long ago God had a great many burdens which He wished to have carried from one place to another on earth, so He asked the animals to lend a hand. But all of them began to make excuses for not helping: the elephant was too dignified; the lion, too proud; and so on. Finally the birds came to God and said, "If you will tie the burdens into small bundles, we'll be glad to carry them for you. We are small but we would like to help."
So God fastened upon the back of each one a small bundle, and they all set out walking across the plain to their destination. They sang as they went, and did not seem to feel the weight of their burdens at all. Every day the burdens seemed lighter and lighter, until the loads seems to be lifting the birds, instead of the birds carrying the burdens.
When they arrived at their destination, they discovered that when they removed their loads, there were wings in their place, wings which enabled them to fly to the sky and the tree tops.
They had learned how to carry their burdens, and their loads had become wings to carry them nearer to God.
Burdens we carry for others may become wings of the spirit, to lift us into happiness such as we have never known.
******
So God fastened upon the back of each one a small bundle, and they all set out walking across the plain to their destination. They sang as they went, and did not seem to feel the weight of their burdens at all. Every day the burdens seemed lighter and lighter, until the loads seems to be lifting the birds, instead of the birds carrying the burdens.
When they arrived at their destination, they discovered that when they removed their loads, there were wings in their place, wings which enabled them to fly to the sky and the tree tops.
They had learned how to carry their burdens, and their loads had become wings to carry them nearer to God.
Burdens we carry for others may become wings of the spirit, to lift us into happiness such as we have never known.
******
Itna sannata kyon hai
A bhai! Itna sannata kyon hai?
Kitne der se sms ki ghanti nahi baji.
Yeh sare network fuse hogaye
Ya mere dost hi kanjus hogaye
............ ......... ......... ......... ......... ...
Sometimes, I forget to say hi,
Sometimes, I even miss to reply,
Sometimes, my msg doesn't reach u,
But, it doesn't mean that I forget u,
I'm just giving u time to miss me!
............ ......... ......... ......... ......... ...
Apni Surat ka kabhi to didaar de
Tadap raha hu kabhi to apna pyaar de
Apni awaaz nahi sunani to mat suna
Kam se kam 1 Missed call hee maar de
............ ......... ......... ......... ......... ...
Us Pyari si surat ka phir ek bar didar de,
Tadap rahe hain hum yahan, ab aur na intazar de,
Awaz mat suna, ae zalim magar,
Ek kam se kam ek MISSED call to mar de...
............ ......... ......... ......... ......... ...
Kitne der se sms ki ghanti nahi baji.
Yeh sare network fuse hogaye
Ya mere dost hi kanjus hogaye
............ ......... ......... ......... ......... ...
Sometimes, I forget to say hi,
Sometimes, I even miss to reply,
Sometimes, my msg doesn't reach u,
But, it doesn't mean that I forget u,
I'm just giving u time to miss me!
............ ......... ......... ......... ......... ...
Apni Surat ka kabhi to didaar de
Tadap raha hu kabhi to apna pyaar de
Apni awaaz nahi sunani to mat suna
Kam se kam 1 Missed call hee maar de
............ ......... ......... ......... ......... ...
Us Pyari si surat ka phir ek bar didar de,
Tadap rahe hain hum yahan, ab aur na intazar de,
Awaz mat suna, ae zalim magar,
Ek kam se kam ek MISSED call to mar de...
............ ......... ......... ......... ......... ...
Thursday, September 4, 2008
12 Ways to Get Rid of a Telemarketer
1. If they want to loan you money, tell them you just filed for bankruptcy and you could sure use some money.
Ask, "How long can I keep it? Do I have to ever pay it back, or is it like the other money I borrowed before my bankruptcy?"
*********
2. If you get one of those pushy people who won't shut up, just listen to their sales pitch.
When they try to close the sale, tell them that you'll need to go get your credit card. Then, just set the phone down and go do laundry, shopping or whatever.
See how long that commission based scum waits for you to get your credit card.
*********
3. If they start out with, "How are you today?" say, "Why do you want to know?" Or you can say, "I'm so glad you asked, because no one seems to care these days and I have all these problems, my sciatica is acting up, my eyelashes are sore, my dog just died...."
When they try to get back to the sales process, just continue on with telling about your problems.
*********
4. If the person says he's Joe Doe from the ABC Company, ask him to spell his name, then ask him to spell the company name, then ask where it is located.
Continue asking personal questions or questions about the company for as long as necessary.
*********
5. This one works better if you are male: Telemarketer: "Hi, my name is Julie and I'm with Dodger & Peck Services.... You: "Hang on a second." (few seconds pause) "Okay, (in a really husky voice) what are you wearing?"
*********
6. Crying out, in well-simulated tones of pleasure and surprise, "Julie!! Is this really you? I can't believe it! Julie, how have you BEEN?" Hopefully, this will give Julie a few brief moments of terror as she tries to figure out where the heck she could know you from.
*********
7. Say, "No," over and over. Be sure to vary the sound of each no, and keep an even tempo even as they're trying to speak. This is the most fun if you can keep going until they hang up.
*********
8. If MCI calls trying to get you to sign up with their Family and Friends plan, reply, in as sinister a voice as you can muster, "I don't have any friends...would you be my friend?"
*********
9. If they clean rugs: "Can you get blood out, you can? Well, how about goat blood or HUMAN blood - chicken blood too?"
*********
10. Let the person go through their spiel, providing minimal but necessary feedback in the form of an occasional "Uh-huh, really, or, "That's fascinating."
Finally, when they ask you to buy, ask them to marry you. They get all flustered, but just tell them you couldn't give your credit card number to someone who's a complete stranger.
*********
11. Tell them you work for the same company they work for. Example: Telemarketer: "This is Bill from Widget & Associates." You: "Widget & Associates!! Hey I work for them too. Where are you calling from?"
Telemarketer: "Uh, Dallas, Texas." You: "Great, they have a group there too? How's business/the weather? Too bad the company has a policy against selling to employees! Oh well, see ya."
*********
12. Tell the Telemarketer you are busy and if they will give you their phone number you will call them back.
If they say they are not allowed to give out their number, then ask them for their home number and tell them you will call them at home (this is usually the most effective method of getting rid of Telemarketers) .
If the person says, "Well, I don't really want to get a call at home," say, "Yeah! Now you know how I feel." (smiling, of course...)
*********
Ask, "How long can I keep it? Do I have to ever pay it back, or is it like the other money I borrowed before my bankruptcy?"
*********
2. If you get one of those pushy people who won't shut up, just listen to their sales pitch.
When they try to close the sale, tell them that you'll need to go get your credit card. Then, just set the phone down and go do laundry, shopping or whatever.
See how long that commission based scum waits for you to get your credit card.
*********
3. If they start out with, "How are you today?" say, "Why do you want to know?" Or you can say, "I'm so glad you asked, because no one seems to care these days and I have all these problems, my sciatica is acting up, my eyelashes are sore, my dog just died...."
When they try to get back to the sales process, just continue on with telling about your problems.
*********
4. If the person says he's Joe Doe from the ABC Company, ask him to spell his name, then ask him to spell the company name, then ask where it is located.
Continue asking personal questions or questions about the company for as long as necessary.
*********
5. This one works better if you are male: Telemarketer: "Hi, my name is Julie and I'm with Dodger & Peck Services.... You: "Hang on a second." (few seconds pause) "Okay, (in a really husky voice) what are you wearing?"
*********
6. Crying out, in well-simulated tones of pleasure and surprise, "Julie!! Is this really you? I can't believe it! Julie, how have you BEEN?" Hopefully, this will give Julie a few brief moments of terror as she tries to figure out where the heck she could know you from.
*********
7. Say, "No," over and over. Be sure to vary the sound of each no, and keep an even tempo even as they're trying to speak. This is the most fun if you can keep going until they hang up.
*********
8. If MCI calls trying to get you to sign up with their Family and Friends plan, reply, in as sinister a voice as you can muster, "I don't have any friends...would you be my friend?"
*********
9. If they clean rugs: "Can you get blood out, you can? Well, how about goat blood or HUMAN blood - chicken blood too?"
*********
10. Let the person go through their spiel, providing minimal but necessary feedback in the form of an occasional "Uh-huh, really, or, "That's fascinating."
Finally, when they ask you to buy, ask them to marry you. They get all flustered, but just tell them you couldn't give your credit card number to someone who's a complete stranger.
*********
11. Tell them you work for the same company they work for. Example: Telemarketer: "This is Bill from Widget & Associates." You: "Widget & Associates!! Hey I work for them too. Where are you calling from?"
Telemarketer: "Uh, Dallas, Texas." You: "Great, they have a group there too? How's business/the weather? Too bad the company has a policy against selling to employees! Oh well, see ya."
*********
12. Tell the Telemarketer you are busy and if they will give you their phone number you will call them back.
If they say they are not allowed to give out their number, then ask them for their home number and tell them you will call them at home (this is usually the most effective method of getting rid of Telemarketers) .
If the person says, "Well, I don't really want to get a call at home," say, "Yeah! Now you know how I feel." (smiling, of course...)
*********
ASKING THE RIGHT QUESTION
ASKING THE RIGHT QUESTION
Love Good Reading? Click here to Join Group...
Jack and Max are walking from religious service. Jack wonders whether it would be all right to smoke while praying.
Max replies, "Why don't you ask the Priest?"
So Jack goes up to the Priest and asks, "Father, may I smoke while I pray?"
The Priest replies, "No, my son, you may not! That's utter disrespect to our religion."
Jack goes back to his friend and tells him what the good Priest told him.
Max says, "I'm not surprised. You asked the wrong question. Let me try."
And so Max goes up to the Priest and asks, "Father, may I pray while I smoke?"
To which the Priest eagerly replies, "By all means, my son. By all means. You can always pray whenever you want to."
**********
Moral of the story is... The reply you get depends on the question you ask.
**********
For example, if you want a vacation when still working on a project don't ask for the holiday;
Ask: "Can I keep working on this project while I'm on vacation?"
**********
I have more stories for U. ( click on the links below )
............ ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ..
Love Good Reading? Click here to Join Group...
Jack and Max are walking from religious service. Jack wonders whether it would be all right to smoke while praying.
Max replies, "Why don't you ask the Priest?"
So Jack goes up to the Priest and asks, "Father, may I smoke while I pray?"
The Priest replies, "No, my son, you may not! That's utter disrespect to our religion."
Jack goes back to his friend and tells him what the good Priest told him.
Max says, "I'm not surprised. You asked the wrong question. Let me try."
And so Max goes up to the Priest and asks, "Father, may I pray while I smoke?"
To which the Priest eagerly replies, "By all means, my son. By all means. You can always pray whenever you want to."
**********
Moral of the story is... The reply you get depends on the question you ask.
**********
For example, if you want a vacation when still working on a project don't ask for the holiday;
Ask: "Can I keep working on this project while I'm on vacation?"
**********
I have more stories for U. ( click on the links below )
............ ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ..
Will Power
An old man lived alone in Minnesota. He wanted to spade his potato garden, but it was very hard work.
His only son, who would have helped him, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and mentioned his situation.
Dear Son, I am feeling pretty bad because it looks like I won't be able to plant my potato garden this year.
I hate to miss doing the garden, because your mother always loved planting time. I'm just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot.If you were here, all my troubles would be over. I know you would dig the plot for me, if you weren't in prison.
Love, Dad
.........
Shortly, the old man received this telegram:
"For Heaven's sake, Dad,don't dig up the garden!! That's where I buried the GUNS!" At 4a.m.
The next morning,
A dozen FBI agents and local police officers showed up and dug up the entire garden without finding any guns.
Confused, the old man wrote another note to his son telling him what happened, and a sked him what to do next.
His son's reply was: "Go ahead and plant your potatoes, Dad. It's the best I could do for you from here."
********
- Moral Of the Story
NO MATTER WHERE YOU ARE IN THE WORLD,
IF YOU HAVE DECIDED TO DO SOMETHING DEEP FROM YOUR HEART, YOU CAN DO IT.
IT IS THE THOUGHT THAT MATTERS NOT WHERE YOU ARE OR WHERE THE PERSON IS.
********
His only son, who would have helped him, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and mentioned his situation.
Dear Son, I am feeling pretty bad because it looks like I won't be able to plant my potato garden this year.
I hate to miss doing the garden, because your mother always loved planting time. I'm just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot.If you were here, all my troubles would be over. I know you would dig the plot for me, if you weren't in prison.
Love, Dad
.........
Shortly, the old man received this telegram:
"For Heaven's sake, Dad,don't dig up the garden!! That's where I buried the GUNS!" At 4a.m.
The next morning,
A dozen FBI agents and local police officers showed up and dug up the entire garden without finding any guns.
Confused, the old man wrote another note to his son telling him what happened, and a sked him what to do next.
His son's reply was: "Go ahead and plant your potatoes, Dad. It's the best I could do for you from here."
********
- Moral Of the Story
NO MATTER WHERE YOU ARE IN THE WORLD,
IF YOU HAVE DECIDED TO DO SOMETHING DEEP FROM YOUR HEART, YOU CAN DO IT.
IT IS THE THOUGHT THAT MATTERS NOT WHERE YOU ARE OR WHERE THE PERSON IS.
********
Har raat
Tum har raat mere khwabon mein aao,
Tum har raat mujhe yuunhi satao,
.
.
.
Melody khao khud jaan jao........
............ ......... .......
Aaj aasmaan mein taare aise chamak rahe hain
Aaj aasmaan mein taare aise chamak rahe hain....
.
.
.
JAISE KAL CHAMAK RAHE THE !!!
............ ......... .......
College ki gali me ajeeb khel hota hai,
Classke bahane diloka mel hota hai,
Notes ki jagah love mail hota hai,
Isliye to pappu har sal fail hota Hai..
............ ......... .......
1 bar exam me question tha.`challenge kise kahte hai?
Sardar ne sare page chhodkar last page par likha :
Apne bap ki aulad hai to paas kar ke dikha.
............ ......... .......
Tum har raat mujhe yuunhi satao,
.
.
.
Melody khao khud jaan jao........
............ ......... .......
Aaj aasmaan mein taare aise chamak rahe hain
Aaj aasmaan mein taare aise chamak rahe hain....
.
.
.
JAISE KAL CHAMAK RAHE THE !!!
............ ......... .......
College ki gali me ajeeb khel hota hai,
Classke bahane diloka mel hota hai,
Notes ki jagah love mail hota hai,
Isliye to pappu har sal fail hota Hai..
............ ......... .......
1 bar exam me question tha.`challenge kise kahte hai?
Sardar ne sare page chhodkar last page par likha :
Apne bap ki aulad hai to paas kar ke dikha.
............ ......... .......
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