If you need a good laugh, try reading through these children's science exam answers. Some of them are hysterical.
Q: Name the four seasons.
A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.
Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink.
A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.
Q: How is dew formed?
A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.
Q: How can you delay milk turning sour? (brilliant, love this!)
A: Keep it in the cow.
Q: What causes the tides in the oceans?
A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature hates a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.
Q: What are steroids?
A: Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.
Q: What happens to your body as you age?
A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.
Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
A: He says good-bye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery.
Q: Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.
A: Premature death.
Q: How are the main parts of the body categorized? ( e.g., abdomen)
A: The body is consisted into three parts -- the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain; the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels A, E, I, O, and U.
Q: What is the fibula?
A: A small lie.
Q: What does 'varicose' mean? (I do love this one...)
A: Nearby.
Q: Give the meaning of the term 'Caesarian Section.'
A: The Caesarian Section is a district in Rome
Q: What does the word 'benign' mean?'
A: Benign is what you will be after you be eight.
Friday, August 8, 2008
The Richest Man In The Valley
A rich landowner named Carl often rode around his vast estate so he could congratulate himself on his great wealth.
One day while riding around his estate on his favorite horse, he saw Hans, an old tenant farmer. Hans was sitting under a tree when Carl rode by.
Hans said, 'I was just thanking God for my food.'
Carl protested, 'If that is all I had to eat, I wouldn't feel like giving thanks.'
Hans replied, 'God has given me everything I need, and I am thankful for it.'
The old farmer added, 'It is strange you should come by today because I had a dream last night. In my dream a voice told me, 'The richest man in the valley will die tonight.' I don't know what it means, but I thought I ought to tell you.'
Carl snorted, 'Dreams are nonsense,' and galloped away, but he could not forget Hans' words: 'The richest man in the valley will die tonight.'
He was obviously the richest man in the valley, so he invited his doctor to his house that evening.
Carl told the doctor what Hans had said. After a thorough examination, the doctor told the wealthy landowner, 'Carl, you are as strong and healthy as a horse. There is no way you are going to die tonight.'
Nevertheless, for assurance, the doctor stayed with Carl, and they played cards through the night.
The doctor left the next morning and Carl apologized for becoming so upset over the old man's dream.
At about nine o'clock, a messenger arrived at Carl's door.
'What is it?' Carl demanded.
The messenger explained, 'It's about old Hans. He died last night in his sleep.'
*******
Being rich has nothing to do with money or possessions. But it has everything to do with having a relationship with God.
One day while riding around his estate on his favorite horse, he saw Hans, an old tenant farmer. Hans was sitting under a tree when Carl rode by.
Hans said, 'I was just thanking God for my food.'
Carl protested, 'If that is all I had to eat, I wouldn't feel like giving thanks.'
Hans replied, 'God has given me everything I need, and I am thankful for it.'
The old farmer added, 'It is strange you should come by today because I had a dream last night. In my dream a voice told me, 'The richest man in the valley will die tonight.' I don't know what it means, but I thought I ought to tell you.'
Carl snorted, 'Dreams are nonsense,' and galloped away, but he could not forget Hans' words: 'The richest man in the valley will die tonight.'
He was obviously the richest man in the valley, so he invited his doctor to his house that evening.
Carl told the doctor what Hans had said. After a thorough examination, the doctor told the wealthy landowner, 'Carl, you are as strong and healthy as a horse. There is no way you are going to die tonight.'
Nevertheless, for assurance, the doctor stayed with Carl, and they played cards through the night.
The doctor left the next morning and Carl apologized for becoming so upset over the old man's dream.
At about nine o'clock, a messenger arrived at Carl's door.
'What is it?' Carl demanded.
The messenger explained, 'It's about old Hans. He died last night in his sleep.'
*******
Being rich has nothing to do with money or possessions. But it has everything to do with having a relationship with God.
Arz kiya hai
Arz kiya hai.....,
Aaj-kal aapke SMS aana band hai, wah wah! Wah wah!,
Aaj-kal aapke SMS aana band hai,
Khafa ho humse ya balance kam hai?, ha ha ha ha.....
............ ......... ......... ......... ......
Child : - Mohit uncle mujhe na Bandar dekhna hai
Mohit : - Beta vo abhi SMS padh raha hai.
............ ......... ......... ......... ......
TUSI bade hi gr8 ho,
RASGULLE ki pl8 ho,
PEPSI ka cr8 ho,
ANDE ka oml8 ho,
SMS KARNE ME bare le8 ho,
JALEBI ki tarah stra8 ho,
KHER jo bhi ho mere fevr8 ho...!
............ ......... ......... ......... ......
Teri aankain jhuki jhuki
Tera chehra khila khila
Jab tere chehre per haath ghumaya
To aadha kilo fair & lovely mila
............ ......... ......... ......... ......
Aaj-kal aapke SMS aana band hai, wah wah! Wah wah!,
Aaj-kal aapke SMS aana band hai,
Khafa ho humse ya balance kam hai?, ha ha ha ha.....
............ ......... ......... ......... ......
Child : - Mohit uncle mujhe na Bandar dekhna hai
Mohit : - Beta vo abhi SMS padh raha hai.
............ ......... ......... ......... ......
TUSI bade hi gr8 ho,
RASGULLE ki pl8 ho,
PEPSI ka cr8 ho,
ANDE ka oml8 ho,
SMS KARNE ME bare le8 ho,
JALEBI ki tarah stra8 ho,
KHER jo bhi ho mere fevr8 ho...!
............ ......... ......... ......... ......
Teri aankain jhuki jhuki
Tera chehra khila khila
Jab tere chehre per haath ghumaya
To aadha kilo fair & lovely mila
............ ......... ......... ......... ......
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